I don't have any new pictures to post...I must admit, I've been THE WORLD'S WORST about snapping any pics of my kids (or anything for that matter) lately. But I've noticed that my blog is being very neglected these past few months, so I thought I'd just post some thoughts...
I LOVE staying home with my kids, like REALLY LOVE IT. These past 2 years have been THE BEST years of my life so far. Don't get me wrong, being a SAHM is hard work. Luckily I have a sitter to allow me to run errands and have a little time off from time to time. Lord knows it is absolutely impossible to grocery shop with 2 babies (no room for the groceries!) Although being a SAHM is tough at times, I personally think it is the best and most important job in the entire world for a mother of young children. I'm SOOOO thankful that I am getting this opportunity.
But tonight (and the past few days) I have found myself very nostalgic about my days as a working mom. I LOVE LOVE LOVE teaching. It's a huge part of who I am. I talked to my old team leader (Joni) the other day...which I'm sure is what started all of this reminiscing. I just really miss it. Not only do I miss the "teaching" part of the job, but I REALLY miss my team. I had such an amazing group of girls I worked with for 6 years. We got along perfectly and had really become best friends. Joni was seriously like a 2nd mom to me. I can trust her with ANYTHING and she taught me the ropes of my profession. She is hands down THE BEST teacher I have ever known. Being that I grew so close to Joni, Amy, and Robin, it's hard to just up and leave your bff's. I also miss all of the little stuff that comes along with being a teacher...Christmas parties, fun assemblies where the whole school would gather in the cafeteria, our VERY quick lunches where we would sit together and gossip or whatever, getting my room all spiffy for Open House (and then going to El Fenix with my team afterwards, every year), I even miss the dreaded 2nd Wed of the month faculty meetings (I would do just about anything to sit in a room full of ADULTS for an hour these days), I just miss it all.
I know I am truly blessed to be able to stay home with my children, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I wouldn't have given up my PERFECT position as a 3rd grade teacher at Dunn if I didn't think it was worth it. I LOVE my day to day happenings with my sweeties. We have soooo much fun together during the day. I am so lucky to be able to spend these first years of their lives with them because I will never get them back. But with the decision to raise these babies myself the first couple of years comes the loss of a perfect position. The awesome thing about my job is that the job itself isn't going anywhere. I will always be able to go back to teaching. Unfortunately, I think my days as a 3rd grade teacher at Dunn ES are long gone. My spot has been filled, and honestly, no one really leaves that school unless they retire or move away. My classroom has been filled with another teacher's belongings and I don't see that changing.
I mean, Team 3 at Dunn is undoubtedly the best team ever, so who would leave it? Me. I left for the perfect reason, though. To allow my children the opportunity to be with mommy for the 1st few years of their lives. Who knows...maybe by some miracle, they'll need a fifth teacher and I'll get back on. Highly doubtful, but not impossible.
I'm "planning" on staying home one more year after this year. Landon is supposed to start kinder next year, but I think we'll hold him back until the following year because of his super late Aug. 20 bday. Chris is very concerned about him being the youngest and smallest. So, if we wait, the girls will be 3 when Landon starts kinder and I definitely want them in preschool by then. It will be the perfect time for me to return to teaching. SCARY!! I've taught one grade, at one school, with the same girls, and that's it. I can't imagine another grade or another school...and no one will ever compare to Joni, Amy, and Robin. Ughhhhh...makes me sick to my stomach to think about it. I swear, if my old spot just happened to come back open this coming school year, I'd go back a year early just to be back at Dunn with my old girls.
But until it's time to get back into the working world, I'm gonna just enjoy my time with my lovies. Not everyone gets this opportunity. I need to remember how lucky I am.
3 comments:
Maybe a spot will open up here! I feel the exact same way about my school, and the friendships I have formed here. You would LOVE it here! I will give you the inside scoop if something opens up. You are doing a great job as a SAHM and you are a great teacher too! Love you.
Ashley,
If you want the opinion (for what it's owrth) of a SAHM that has been blessed to be able to do this for the last 13 years, your feelings are NORMAL! I too, gave up a job that i loved, not teaching mind you, but I worked for a very good, family owned company and still wonder about the people there. I don't think that anyone understands what it is that you truly give up to be a SAHM. With that being said, time flies when you are having a blast and it sounds like you are right where you belong for now! Your kiddos are beautiful! Blessings, Laura Mills
By the way, I agree with you about the 3rd grade team, both Julia and Em had Joni and I couldn't imagine the school without them! :)
Ashley - I am just now reading this post. I don't know exactly how you are feeling but I remember just the touch of it that i felt while I was home for 3 months after Hudson was born. I loved being at home but even just after three months I was missing the friendships and laughter of daily office life. (something I never really appreciated until I was a away from it!) Now of course that I have been back at work for what feels like forever I would give anything to be back at home with the boys. I think the saying "the grass is always greener" is so true! Just know (and I know you do) that you are doing something amazing right now and your three sweet babies are going to have such a healthy happy foundation for the rest of their lives, because you are home with them right now! Love you!
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