Friday, September 11, 2009

Wow...what a scary day it was...

Well, today is September 11...a day that has gone down in the History books as one of the most devasting days our country has ever had. I wanted to blog about what happened on this day, so I will never forget and so that my children can read about my experience. Although...I don't think it is possible to ever forget exactly what you were doing when the devastation occurred......

It was around 7 am in the morning and I was getting ready to go to class. At the time, I was 22-years-old, living with Chris in our first apt, and attending the UTA School of Education. I have always drank coffee and watched the news while getting ready in the morning, and that is exactly what I was doing. I remember a Breaking News story coming on saying that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings in NYC. I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, that pilot must have fallen asleep or something. How do you miss a building that big?" I went to get Chris because I knew he would want to watch this story. I thought it was so sad because lots of innocent people where going to die from this mistake. So, we watched. And then, all of the sudden...another plane crashed into the OTHER World Trade Center building. Chris and I were in shock. At that point, the News reporters started speculating that this was the act of terrorists. They determined that both of these planes where bound for Los Angelos, but had more than likely been hijacked.

Then it hit me! Oh my gosh!! My mom was supposed to be leaving that morning for a trip...TO LOS ANGELOS!!!!!! She was and still is a flight attendant for American Airlines. I frantically started calling her. She wouldn't answer...wouldn't answer...wouldn't answer. A little while passed by, and by this time, they had determined that the 2 planes had been hijacked by terrorists and purposefully crashed. Finally, my mother called me back. THANK YOU GOD! She was like, "What's wrong? Do you know of something going on because we have been grounded on the runway and are not aloud to take off." The only thing the pilot had told them is that there was a "National Emergency" and that they would not be taking off. So...I broke the news to her and she told the other flight attendants. Of course, they were all devastated and very scared. As I was talking to her, I watched as the 3rd hijacked plane crashed into the Pentagon. And then the worst part...the 2 World Trade Center buildings collapsed, killing just about everyone in sight of them. She really couldn't believe what she was I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Sooo...they sat on the runway for hours waiting for approval to exit the plane, and when they finally got off, the employees where directed to go to the blood bank to give blood. My mother did just that...and returned home. I continued watching the coverage (which lasted for weeks), and needless to say...did not go to class.

I remember it being one of the saddest days I had ever experienced. It was also one of the most frightened I have ever been. Until I heard my mom's voice, I just knew she was in one of those hijacked planes. Luckily...they never even had a chance to take off because it all happened right before take-off. It was so was like the world stopped. Every single tv show stopped, and there was nothing but coverage for atleast a week or two. Air travel completely stopped for so long...I don't even remember how long...I think like a month or two. Everyone...and I mean everyone was just so sad. Thousands of people lost their lives due to these heartless terrorists. To this day, I still can't believe it happened.

Two months after this happened, my mom and I made a trip to NYC. As crazy as it sounds, the buildings were still smoking. And the smell...the smell was horrific. And as much as I hate to say was the smell of death. It STILL smelled like burning bodies. There were devastated people everywhere frantically searching for their loved ones. I mean like hundreds and hundreds of crying people. Visiting during this time was definitely a life-changing experience. I am very thankful that my mom gave me the opportunity to experience history in the making.

Today is the 8th anniversary of this terrible day. As I was driving Landon to school this morning, I drove past a police station where all of the officers where outside having a moment of silence...heads bowed, hands on heart. It was very humbling to see. I just pray that the families of the loved ones who were killed have moved on from this and are in a better place than the way I witnessed them that day in New York.

I took some pictures of the weekend we spent in NYC. I'm gonna try to dig them up and post a few. So stay tuned...

Monday, September 7, 2009

The ups and downs of being a SAHM

Well...I think I've had my first official meltdown since deciding to be a SAHM.

My little luvies have been under the weather for over a week now...and it's beginning to take a toll on me. Emily's cold has been very mild, but Allie has been super congested with an awful cough. She coughs so hard that she ends up gagging and then throwing up. I ended up taking her to the Dr. after several days of no improvement. Like usual...she said it was just a cold that had to run it's course and advised me to use the aspirator, incline her mattress, and turn on the humidifier...all of which I had already been doing. They also aren't eating like they usually do. Emily usually scarfs her bottle down like she's never eaten before...and she just seems uninterested as of late. Same with Allie. Chris and I think this could either be because they aren't feeling up to par or maybe they are teething. Landon wasn't as interested in his bottle when he began teething. Either way, it is stressful to me when they won't eat well and they are feeling sick.

So when Allie puked up her ENTIRE bottle plus some while I was making dinner and Emily refused to drink anymore than 2 ounces of her bottle...all the while Landon is running around nude refusing to put on is jammies and shouting "I have a penis!!" at the top of his lungs...I had a bit of a mental breakdown..............

Don't get me wrong...I wouldn't trade this opportunity to stay home with my kiddos for the world, but let me tell is THE HARDEST job in the world. It's 10 million times harder than teaching 3rd grade. It is just so repetitive and neverending. And you get zero compensation. I remember thinking a few years ago when I had the "kid from hell" in my class, "I sure am glad they pay me well or I sure am glad this kid only has a few more months left of 3rd grade!" I bust my butt everyday to take care of two newborns...high maintenance newborns at that, keep the house looking somewhat clean or atleast tidy, clean the toilets that have Landon pee all over them, sweep, mop, and vacuum the floors, keep up with the neverending loads of laundry, make a balanced dinner for my family most nights, run what few errands are possible to run with two infant carriers in tow, and on top of that...try my damndest to get in a shower and a little make-up so my hubby doesn't walk through the door at night only to see me looking exactly the way he left me 8 hours ago. I have always promised myself that I will NEVER turn into one of those frumpy housewives. Once I am done with all of this and the kiddos are in bed, I have a few hours before it starts all over again. Sometimes it just feels like there is no end in sight. I think what I'm missing is the adult interaction I had when I taught. Or maybe it's the "Thank you!" or "You're doing such a great job!" that I miss about being a working mom. Being a SAHM is, in a way, Thankless. I just do what I do as a housewife and mother and that's it. There's no principal or team member here to give me kuddos or give me money.

I guess I have to give myself a little credit being that I'm raising twins. I mean...I have it double-hard, right? Most all of the SAHM's in my StrollerStrides class tell me they feel this exact same way, but I have it doubletime! And girls at that! These divas are harder than Landon would have ever thought to of been.

When I think to myself, "Did I make the right choice quitting my job? Was I meant to be a SAHM?", the answer is ALWAYS yes. Even when I'm having a tough day, there is still nothing I would rather be doing than staying home with my girls. These girls ADORE me! They light up when I walk in the room and scream at the top of their lungs when I leave :) Those little luvbugs make it all worth it. Even though on some days, I want to pull my hair out...I know that this is what God wants me to do. I was given this opportunity for a reason, and I'm going to embrace it for everything that it's worth.

I think my little meltdown tonight just stems from the super hard week we've had due to the girls being sick. We've been off sleep schedules, feeding times, and they have been very fussy and iratable. Hopefully, they will start feeling better soon so we can get back into our routine. Routine is my life these days, and without it, there's chaos. Chris is such a sweet husband, though. He was trying so hard to make me feel better, and all I kept saying is, "You'll never understand!" (in a super whiny voice). Poor guy :(

Thanks for listening to me vent. Taking time to write it all down has made me feel better. Now I better go check on my sweet baby girls and make sure no one's throwing up or anything of the nature. Then it's off to bed for a good night's sleep. Awwww...nothing like my comfy cozy bed :)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Long overdue.....

Landon's 3rd Birthday party was a huge success!!! It was at Pump it Up in Arlington, and all of his little buddies were there to help celebrate! Instead of uploading a million pictures, I just attached a link that you can click and see all of them. Thank you so much Stevi!!! She was my personal photographer for the day, and she captured some great shots! Enjoy!

****Once you click on the link below, just click on each picture to enlarge each one.*****